Let's Bring it Back Home!- BG

Yes, I am nervous about tonight's game. Shittin down my leg a little actually. But fuck it! Let's beat the piss out of these cheap shot, inferior, tropical storm pussies. Sorry Carolina, this isn't New Orleans, this is Boston, we know how to beat Hurricanes.

Elisha Cuthbert: Please Don't View This. Please.

Um.... We thought it was funny? Yes, my obsession with '24' has gone too far.

Let Me Break Down The Cs, Magic For Ya' (Pt. 2 of 2) -TOMP

Well, after witnessing yet another lopsided affair, I believe I have come across the root of the Celtics problems with dismantling the Orlando (not so) Magic.

While I'm sorry to do this, it's time to throw Scal under the bus. Look, you know you're in trouble when your #1 big man off the bench is a 6'9 white guy from Southern Cal. We can all agree, that's a given.  But when its a guy who was on the championship team from the previous year and got to play exactly zero minutes without even being injured, you're really in for a rocky road.

I know he's all they got left after Powe messed up his knee, and I know he's been playing his ass off, particularly on the defensive side of the ball, but when you shoot threes like Rajon Rondo and play post defense like Chris Webber, you're looking at a point night with probably 5 boards and 5 fouls in about 20 minutes of action.  That's pretty tough action to watch.  I guess it should be mentioned that Scal did have the 5th highest salary on the team coming into the year.  Note, that Starbury's doesn't count because the Knicks are paying it and well, frankly, it's just hard to believe Mikki Moore is making that kind of dough for fouling people in 7 minutes of action. 

Bottom line is that it's just tough to win without a #1 big man on the court, and it's even tougher when you have to play against Dwight Howard.  I'm not really sure there are any moves the Cs can pull here to get things together.  Really, it seems like the only way Boston pulls this one out is to have Allen (not Tony) & Pierce drop at least 30 a piece.  Everyone seems very much hot or not, which just does not bode well.

Chuck Daly dying is just another slap on the face for the 2009 Pistons. I'm pretty sure outside of a first degree murder, that things could not possibly go any worse.

"You're Fucking Out. I'm Fucking In."

I Hope It Never Ends -TOMP

Well, just when you thought it was over. It has only just begun. Personally, I think Brett Favre is an all American Hero whose face should be on Mount Rushmore.  Clearly, the rest of American sports fans have an opposite opinion on this, so ladies & gentlemen, this one's for you.

Yes, these images are the new trend of the week. Enjoy.

"You're Fucking Out. I'm Fucking In."

Did You Hear About Some Home Runs In Yankee Stadium Or Something?

Congrats.  You've built a home run derby park. That's a significant upgrade to the batting cages under Fenway at Game On.

Let Me Break Down The Cs, Magic For Ya' (Pt. 1 of 2) -TOMP

So, what exactly is going on between Orlando & Boston.  A baller series between the 2 & 3 seeds in the east, each game with very different outcomes.  I'm going to take this argument from both sides of the ball, so get ready for some fair play.

Now, we saw Orlando totally dominate in game 1, only to blow a 28 point lead and let Ray Ray and the rest of Celtics make a dramatic comeback.  Rafer Alston has been kicking ass and taking names at the point guard spot, D.Howard has been wetting his diaper/distributing punishment like its nobody's business and JJ Redick is starting at SG for the....

Wait a second.

JJ Redick?

That douchebag from Duke?

Unfortunately, the very one (pictured above).  Before I go any deeper into this, there are four things I really, really hate.

1.) Ohio State Football

2.) Notre Dame Football

3.) Duke Basketball

4.) My Roommate, Dan

Three of these, I don't have any substantial ground for disliking other than the fact that my ego is the size of the Hindenburg (Note: It crashes and burns as well).  You can really fill in any reason you like for me disliking the most commonly hated NCAA D1 bball team in the nation, and really I'll go along with it.  I just hate Duke, thats the way it is.  JJ Redick is no exception to this and I hate him probably more then I've hated any other athlete in my life.

There's just something about a cocky douchebag who can only shoot three pointers and free throws that tells me you're really not looking at a solid future in the NBA. Apparently, JJ disagrees with me on this one, requesting numerous times to be traded from Orlando so he could score some more PT.  I hate to break it to you JJ, but the league might not be ready for the third or fourth coming of Steve Kerr.

What really must grind his gears is the fact that the Magic drafted a shooting guard this year in Courtney Lee, who went to the small hilltopping school of Western Kentucky.  No harm there, right JJ? Oh, except for the fact that he won the starting spot over you.  That's gotta hurt.  Anywho, Courtney fell prone to the flailing elbows of Dwight "I Will Rape You Behind A Middle School" Howard, and has a broken sinus.

Enter the JJ Zone:

I'll admit, the three straight tres that JJ dropped in game 2 were impressive, but what you saw was Redick's highlight reel.  So, lets not take too much consideration into this.  I hate to break it to you Orlando, but the last team to win a series with a white dude starting at shooting guard was probably the Kings with Doug "House Arrest" Christie.  You're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

With Lee returning tonight and JJ sitting back where he appropriately belongs, on the bench, I'm not really sure what to expect from game 3 tonight.  One things for sure, we will not see the game 2 steam roll that the green laid on, and they better watch their asses tonight.

"You're Fucking Out. I'm Fucking In."

Our House! - BG

11-14, 4-4 from downtown, to total 31 points. Eddie House set the Garden on fire last night! He was more wide open than your average 21 year old sorority girl. The most impressive stat in my mind was that he was 7-10 from inside the three point line. Now we all know that Eddie gets more excited than a priest at Sunday school when he hits a three pointer. I would like to thank Rafer Alston for not being able to A) play defense on a guy who cannot create his own shot and B) not being able to handle Eddie's excitement, slapping him upside the head, drawing a double technical and most likely a front row seat on his couch for game 3. My only concern was this: 16 min, 1-4, 3 points, 4 fouls. If you saw that stat line, you would have bet your own kids that was Mikki Moore, no. That was Paul Pierce's stat line. People are saying "Oh, it's good for him to get some rest." Not me, I am a little more concerned with that. I hope I'm wrong.

(Side Note: Reggie Miller confirmed what I have been saying ever since Scal dawned that absurdly large white headband. He looks like (and his teammates call him) Jackie Moon from Semi-Pro. The parallel is undeniable. Watching Scal and Turkoglu guard eachother is high comedy because it is so much slower than any other matchup on the court. It's like watching old people fuck (from what I've heard...). I wonder if it's because they are both white? Let's just hope Jackie isn't playing 35 minutes a game for the rest of the series.)

The B's dropped their second straight last night in OT. They got a lucky goal early and a lucky goal late to tie the game. The last two games, they looked uninspired and lack luster at best. I do not know what they expected from this Carolina team, but the 'Canes are a battle tested, cup winning group. Their backs are against the wall now, hopefully they will get a win on Friday night to regain home ice. The biggest problem for the Bruins right now, is that they are not controlling the puck well. They are turning the puck over in their own zone too often and when they are on the break, the puck hops off someones stick and the momentum is gone. The other issue I have about this series is that these teams seem like best friends. I keep expecting the Bruins to go over and pat the 'Canes player on the back after they score. "Nice job, man, you beat me on that one, good goal." I really hope that on Friday night one player from either team, pops someone in the mouth to get the physicality and nastinest started.

Before I sign off, I want to issue an apology to Alex Rodriquez. No hell is not frozen, I check with the devil daily, it's hot as shit down there, it's just a deserved apology. I should have done my homework and found out exactly who this bitch was. Then it dawned on me, I knew all along. This is the same broad who slammed the Duke Lacrosse team and accused them of raping a black stripper. Now we all know how that turned out, but it looks like Selena has done it again. (I have not read the book yet) Apparently the book is filled with he said, she said, annonymous sources. All that stuff about taking steroids in high school? Annonymous source. A-Rod tipping pitches? Annonymous source. A-Rod taking HGH with the Yankees? Someone close to the team. This isn't suppose to be US Weekly, Selena.

Sounds like this book has about as much credibility as a Jenna Haze abstinence seminar. So eventhough I still think that these allegations are possible, I apologize to A-Rod for jumping to conclusions. The book is so pretentious and mis-leading that no one is buying it, #64 on the Bestseller list. She should be sued for libel or slander and I bet she will. Selena Roberts would probably write obituaries for people who hadn't even died yet.

Anyway, back to work. I'm done. Sorry for the lack of posts. Things are now back on track.

"Fuck Land, I'm on a Boat Motha Fucka!"