In other recent news, it turns out Jay Cutler is the biggest fucking baby I have ever seen. We're talking about a guy who has a sub-500 record, ran Jake Plummer out of Denver (who led that team to the AFC Championship game & had a sweet 'stache, but whatever) and enjoys boasting that he's a better quarterback than John Elway ever was.
Excuse me? JOHN ELWAY? The comeback kid? The drive? Correct me if I'm wrong, but is that a Super Bowl trophy in hand? When I think Cutler, I think diabetic cocky bitch, who must have have slipped the Vanderbilt coach a silly willy so he could attend one of the premiere universities in the nation. It boggles my mind how he keeps sand bagging the entire Broncos organization, who have taken every step to improve on the offensive side of the ball signing Jabar Gaffney, Chris Simms, Correll Buckhalter, J.J. Arrington and Lamont Jordan. Although, if I recall correctly, wasn't the problem on the defensive side of the ball? I know the Broncos lost like seven running backs last year, but you'd think there would be some focus on the weak ass defensive line (Jarvis Moss, I'm looking at you. Wait. A bust? From Florida? Tell me more.) and trying to figure out what the hell you're going to do with Brandon Marshall after he gets arrested for the 42nd time. The Broncos are sure lucky they get to play the Chiefs & Raiders twice a year. Frankly, I'm surprised McDaniels hasn't made trade offers for Richard Seymour, Ty Warren and Vince Wilfork.
In case you missed the late night college bball action on Tuesday night, two automatic bids emerged that are now my personal favorites to the run the table all the way to the Final Four next week.
The first team, the mighty Bison of North Dakota State. They stomped the the bajesus out of Oakland (a Detroit product & this star's former school) in the Summit League Tournament finale. I had a first as far as watching basketball goes, seeing a group of 5 caucasians trying to hold their own on the hard wood in their school's first year of D1 eligibility. Now, while this may seem like a minor miracle when observing today's game, the most astonishing aspect to me was how similar every player looked. Each guy had blond hair and a buzz cut. Outside of the center who was clearly balding worse than a Steven Segal circa 1997, every dude looked exactly the same. I was lost. Although, I'm sure Brett Winkelman will be a dominant force backing that 15 seed. Profiling at its best.
The other team that managed to pull off the huge upset last night, was none other than those bastards at Cleveland State University. Quite possibly the ugliest group of men ever assembled to play basketball, the mighty Vikings managed to get past the Butler Bulldogs to make way for the big dance. This certainly doesn't help any of those teams lingering for those at large bids as Butler is almost certainly going to be dancing late next week. I'm really hoping I don't smell the stench of another high and dry 'Cuse team.
Few of you probably recall the Pontiac Game Changing Performance nominee where these jamokes managed to slip past the mighty Orange(men) with a final seconds three point bomb from half court (DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS). Well, ladies & gentlemen. I'm ready for the rematch. Paul Harris is going to dominate the next two weeks of basketball play along the likes of Mel Daniels and Artis Gilmore. Its going to be an epic site. I guarantee it.
"You're Fucking Out. I'm Fucking In."
Boston Rock Radio Song of the Week: "Soul To Squeeze" -Red Hot Chili Peppers
TOMP Pick of Week: "Wolf Like Me" -TV on the Radio
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