Finally -TOMP

"Found this DeadSpin user comment hilarious based on eerily similar coaches and lieutenants. Just for note, you should check out Google Images to see the most common movie poster, but do yourself a favor and don't watch it. I mean, even a nun gets raped. Yeah, I'm serious. Oh, God. There's a sequel coming out too. With Nic Cage. FML" -TOMP

Football is back, and I've been so busy absorbing in what's happened over the last week that I haven't been able to compile my thoughts together until now. In no particular order, here are my random points of discussion following the conclusion of the first week of the NCAA and going right into the first week of the NFL season.

1.) You may recall some rant nearing the end of March Madness referring to the highlight of the tourney having to do with me seeing Duke get their asses kicked at TD Bank(North) Garden. Well, some things have changed since then. You will find their 2nd tier overrated benched point guard, #3 (clearly labeled in this past post), may have pulled a crazy move and transferred to 'Cuse, only to be named the starting quarterback of the team after the first week of practice.

Needless to say, this in was only one of the many factors that made this the worst sports associated summers of my sort of short life. Well, had to bite the bullet last week and watch 'Cuse play on national TV in their season debut vs. the Golden Gophers. Now, I don't feel like digging through the records to find all of the nationally televised Syracuse football games from the last 5 years or so, but I can pretty much guarantee the record is about 2-9. Assuming those numbers are accurate, you know one came from last year's Notre Dame upset.

Now, you may call to mind that analysts were calling this one of the worst defeat/collapses of all time, but seeing as how Notre Dame is one of my least favorite things of all time (Note, that Dan has moved on to smaller and lamer things), and that win alone made up for a lot of disappointments over the last few years. So, by my count, Greg Paulus plays for Syracuse now because somehow 'Cuse beat up the Irish last fall. Don't question my logic, you know it's too coincidental to be a coincidence.

Bottom Line: Paulus impressed me. He had that stupid over confident look on his face and played well almost all game. I'll forgive him for that INT targeted for the 1 Orange player surrounded by 5 Gophers for the simple reason that I've played Madden and NCAA Football enough times to know that the risk is worth it. It was a tough loss, but the fans were fucking stoked and you could hear it the entire game. The defense had this rejuvenated charge where they carried themselves around like they fucking owned the place. They didn't looked scared, content or like they were about to shit their pants. It was the 'Cuse I picture Keith Bulluck going to. They may not win a ton of games this year, but they're certainly going to be a lot more fun to watch. And when have you heard this much chatter about 'Cuse football on ESPN Radio, .Com and TV? It's good to see.

2.) Speaking of Bulluck the Titans and Steelers has a little song and dance on Thursday to kick off the NFL season. How was it? Fucking awesome. If you missed the first half, it was just a bunch of 275 lbers crackin' skulls and nailin' the bajesus out of each other. Troy Polamalu was playing just out of his freaking mind for ever play he was in there. It just sucks that he had to be a member of the Bob Sanders club and be injured every other game. Those two are so fucking sha-nasty. I'm sick of them being injured. Can we let the guys who already kick ass pop some 'roids and.or HGH to get back quicker? I'd be happy about that. Some Papi HGH eye drops at the very least. Moving on, it was a good game where the Titans still pound on D and the Steelers are showing how lame their O-Line still is. Oh, and that guy, LaMarr Woodley, went to Michigan. NBD.

3.) I'm sick of the Colorado Buffalo. Dan Hawkins sucks, and his son sucks even more (64 pass attempts vs. Toledo!!!). Why is the Big 12 North STILL a huge joke? Honestly, it's annoying. Sure, Nebraska's always going to have that 20-25 ranking, but they'll always get bitch smacked by a higher tier team. Outside of them? The division is about as consistent as herpes. One day you think you're outbreak free (OMG-Mizzou lost in the Big 12 Championship, Kansas is winning a BCS Bowl and Nebraska beat Michigan in a bowl game!) and the next you're breaking out like a teenager seeing his first Molly Ringwald movie (see: the 2009 season).

4.) Look, the Cowboys have some wide receiver and cornerback issues, but they're going to be fine. They had the most sacks in the league last year, Ware and James back, Newman is the fucking man but they will miss the shit out of Chris Canty. Domination should ensue Sunday vs. the Buccaneers. I eagerly await the match up.

5.) Aaron Rodgers, Michael 'The Burner' Turner, Clinton Portis, Steve Smith (Carolina), Wes Welker, Santonio Holmes, Jonathan Stewart, Greg Olsen, Leon Washington, Fred Jackson, Kevin Walter, Josh Morgan, David Garrard, Ryan Longwell, The Eagles D and the Pats D. What do these NFL players/groups have in common? They're about to win a 2nd straight fantasy title for The Ho. C. Seriously, no one stands a chance.

I'm just happy the league is back on.

Well, I Won't Be Jizzing In My Pants This March -TOMP

Greetings Sports Fans.

I apologize for my absence, but I've had a busy week consisting of a boatload of new experiences having to do with the tourney, life & love.  Ok, maybe just the tourney and life.  Whatever, I've been busy.

It deeply depresses me to say that the mighty Orange have fallen victim to those hick bastards from Oklahoma.  I guess I should have known it would happen Sooner or later.  I was just hoping it would at least be to the Tar Heals of UNC.  I had a bad feeling going into this one from square one. 'Cuse just didn't have that look about them from the get go of the game.  Couldn't hit those three pointers, and the only player other than J-Flyzzle that could be utilized was Ricky Jackson.  Not even the crazy antics of the Belgian Waffle could make a comeback happen.  There were numerous turnovers, too many missed shots and Jonny got hit by that mother fucking freight train, Blake Griffin (almost positive that was an offensive foul on that numb nutted asshole).  

I just couldn't get the bad taste out of my mouth. When it finally got out of hand, I didn't really know how I felt.  I suppose the best comparison would be to the times I've sat on my crapper, looked over for some TP, felt it, wondered to myself why it was so wet, and then put two & two together to figure out that my roommate had urinated all over it.  But that's the price you pay living with a professional web designer.

I've already started to look ahead to next year, even though its hard to believe this season is actually over.  Cuse played great for the most part down the stretch and became America's sweetheart.  I even heard Doug Gottlieb describing how they were a great team to watch with tourney title hopes, and that simply does not happen. We're going to miss the Waffle next year, but Joseph has looked pretty solid over the last month or so, and rumor has it they've recruited another big man who happens to be a four star kind of guy.  If he were a movie, he'd win the best picture. Boo-ya. I don't even know his name, but I'm optimistic from the chit-chat I've heard.

So, put on The National, watch your favorite Devendorf Youtube clips and just think about next year.  Parting is such sweet sorrow...  R.I.P. '08-'09 Syracuse Orangemen Basketball.

In other news, I was front and center for the East regional match-ups with none other than BG, himself.  Of course, by front and center i mean, second to last row in TD Banknorth Garden, but I'll take it any day.  Pitt (my championship winner and sole hope of winning the Bud Guthrie corporate bracket, and no Mr. Guthrie, I did not buy that map yet) squeaked by the mighty Musketeers of Xavier, and yes it was a fucking nail biter. No, I did not appreciate it.  Fields put up what might have been the worst shot choice in NCAA history.  I'll quote my dad on this one, "That was a ballsy ass shot."  Couldn't put it better myself.

I have to say though, I have never had so much fun attending a game just to see an opposing team lose.  I fucking HATE the Duke Blue Devils. HATE them. I can not emphasize this enough. They suck more ass overall than Notre Dame football, and that's saying something.  These two schools think they're so mother fucking cool, but hey, newsflash guys, 6'5 white guys do not win you national championships.  In Charlie Weis' case, they don't even get you bowl game wins, that is if you're lucky enough to get there.

Anyway, it was a phenomenal time.  Special thanks to the Mr. Foley for the hook up. I had a great time with his Nova buddies, there's nothing better than mature, successful and happy gentlemen letting loose and acting like us early twenties douchebags.  I'd also like to thank the Villanova Alumni Association for renting out all of Greatest Bar, letting anyone register for the event for $35, and supplying some incredibly smoking hot bartenders and alumni.  There were some mean dumpers there.  The Dome Factor will make a serious effort to attend more VIP events in the future.

We've still got four games to go for the tourney this weekend, and I'm hoping Ty Lawson featuring his injured toe bitch smack the fuck out of that little mohawk freak point guard on Oklahmo.  I hope Blake Griffin pulls a Duke lacrosse and we never see him again, or his coach walks into the training facility, sees both Griffin brothers, and states in 100% enthused honesty, "It stinks like sex in here."

After the Madness ultimately ends, which would probably be good for me as I'm having my worst bracket picks since '02 (but hey, went 4 for 5 in last week's upset specials), 'Cuse is out, and my sole hope in Pittsburgh is playing like a JV girls school team that replaced the original JV team who died in a tragic bus accident.  Anyway, after it ends, to finish that thought... I'll be totally stoked for the '09 NBA playoffs, where the Detroit Pistons will finally pull their heads out of their asses and make some magic happen versus the Celtics or Magic.

Of course they could always miss the playoffs....

God damn it.

FML.

"You're Fucking Out. I'm Fucking In"

Boston Rock Radio Song of the Week: "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" -Beastie Boys

TOMP Pick of the Week: "Superunknown" -Soundgarden