There were many Bruins fights and power moments this year, but that was hands down my favorite. For those of you who did not watch the Bruins or the first round playoff series last year, Milan Lucic and Mike Komisarek went from occasional rivals to wishing they could run a hockey stick through eachothers hearts, Steve Irwin style. I mean, it got nasty. The only issue was that they never fought because they were both too valuable to their teams in the playoffs to be off the ice for 5 minutes (possibly more). Well in their second meeting, first B's home game, Milan Lucic finally got his wish and beat the fuck out of that Canadian Fraud (Actually Komisarek is from NY and Lucic is from Vancouver, but THAT ISN'T MY POINT!! Milan plays for Boston now!). What that video didn't show is that Komisarek was out a month after that with a shoulder injury. The Bruins won that game 6-1 and never lost again this season to the Frogs. The regular season for these two culminated in a game that closely resembled the Battle of Antietam. It was by far the cheapest game with the most penalty minutes and from what I hear from my father, mostly resembled the old B's-Frogs games. I expect nothing less in this series. So to start off, I'm going to break it down for you, and tell you how the Bruins will finally get off the schneid.
Offense: The Bruins were second on the year in the entire NHL in 5 on 5 scoring. This stems from three legitimate scoring lines, led by the first line of Phil Kessel, Marc Savard, and the other day in practice it was crafty vet, P.J. Axelsson, on the left wing. The left wing has been a rotating position on this first line, Kobasew and Lucic have also spent time up there. Either way, when the Kessel/Savard line comes out, the Frogs will be retreating quicker than they did when Hitler invaded Paris. The other two lines have been shuffled around throughout the year, brilliantly by Claude Julien. Right now it looks like Bergeron (more on him in a moment) and the unsung hero David Krejci will be centering the lines, with Ryder, Wheeler, Lucic, Recchi, Kobasew, and "Sweet Revenge" Michael Ryder on the wings. The Canadiens do not have nearly the offensive depth that the Bruins do and simply because their best offensive player, Alexi Kovalev, looks like the Prince from Shrek, the Bruins get the nod. Edge: Bruins.
Defense: Let me start by saying Zdeno Chara deserves the Norris this year. You really cannot ask more or expect more from a Captain than Zdeno Chara. The only way to describe Zdeno, is to use this gem from Jack Bauer, "The only purpose for RP 7 rocket fuel, is to fire missiles!" Zdeno has been running on rocket fuel and firing missiles all season long. He leads the team in minutes and is second in shots on goal. These are not just shots, as Jack points out, these are 105 mph missiles. Chara has been playing with veteran Aaron Ward. Wideman, rookie Matt Hunwick, Shane "The Sheriff" Hnidy, and Mark Stuart round out the B's defensive core. On the other side the French Frauds might be playing without their best defenseman Andrei Markov. Markov is also their second leading scorer. Mike Komisarek will have to do more than pick on the smallest players on the ice to stop the Bruins attack. It will not be enough Major Edge: Bruins
Goaltenders: Tim Thomas leads the league with a 2.1 GAA and Carey Price is 31st in the league with a 2.83 GAA. There really is not a need to compare the two. Tim Thomas is just that much better. This is like comparing who is a bigger whore, Britney Spears or Mother Theresa. Enough said. Major Edge: Bruins
Special Teams: Here is where the Frogs can have their day and I will tell you why. The Bruins are far and away the better power play team (23.6% vs 19.2) and their penalty killing is equal at 82.4%. The reason the Frogs can have their day is because they are a team full of antagonist pussies. They slash, cheap shot, rabbit punch, and then when it comes time to face the music they hit the ice quicker than a fat kid at an all-you-can-eat buffet. They lead the league in diving penalties. If they announce your name for a diving penalty, they might as well say "#27, 2 minutes, for lack of balls." Anyway, this Canadian team can get under the Bruins skin because the Bruins are tougher and more physical and they have balls. If you don't believe me watch LaPierre, Latendresse, or either of the KGB Kostitsyn brothers during this series. It is a pathetic sight. Edge: Push
X-Factors: For the Bruins its Patrice Bergeron and Mark Recchi. Bergeron's game is rounding in to form and has finally started to show signs of pre-"I almost broke my neck and died" Bergey. The game winner last Thursday against Montreal, where he flattened the Hab defenseman, stole the puck, and then fed fellow X-Factor Mark Recchi for the winner, was all the proof you need. Mark Recchi is an X-Factor because he has been here before and has been crucial leading up to the playoffs after being acquired at the trade deadline. When the Bruins were struggling towards the middle of the year, Recchi's arrival applied some stabilization to this team. They are going to need that leadership if this thing starts to go goes south. For the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys, the X-Factors are Matheiu Schneider and their Vaginas. These two go hand in hand because Matthieu Schneider has really given the Frogs a huge boost on the power play, since being acquired in February. If their Vaginas start hurting during this series and the Bruins get caught up in a cheap shot, penalty-fest, the Habs can pick up a few power play tallies and change the game in a hurry. Just like last Thursday's game. I am not as worried because the B's are a fairly disciplined team and if you don't think Claude Julien has promised that the wrath of God will come down on them if they take stupid penalties, you are kidding yourself. Edge: Slight edge B's, but slight.
I would really like the B's to take this one in five, at home in the garden, but something tells me that is not going to happen. Maybe it is because I am a natural pessimist, but I am going with B's in six. This way they will close it out in Montreal and put away the ghosts of playoffs past.
"Fuck land, I'm on a Boat Motha Fucker"
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