Lets Get It On -TOMP

Welcome to the greatest weekend in sports.  As all are well aware, the Final Four finishes this weekend, the Cavs get dominated not once but three times and Allen Iverson is out for the season!  These events only occur once in a blue moon, but all are overshadowed by the ever epic annual spectacular that seperates the men from the boys,  puts the 'dic' in ridiculous and reveals the ultimate champion.

Of course, I'm talking about the one and only Wrestlemania.

For most fans, the focus will be on the championship match-up between Triple ('Roid Rage) HHH and the the human ding-bat, Randy Orton. I wouldn't expect too much out of this one.  The movie, The Birdcage has more masculine qualities than the RKO.  Randy will most likely end up scissor kicking himself out of the ring, only to knock his ahead into some metallic and get pinned down like a 3 dollar whore.  It bewilders me how performers can think they're such hot shit for winning the Intercontinental Championship.

Who would be proud of winning something that reminds most people of a hotel.  What's that supposed to translate to, anyway?  You win a championship for a night or two?  Maybe you have an extended trip and stay for a week.  Either way you end up getting ass raped with the final bill and always think you should have gotten more for the price.  All this translates to a HHH domination over another whiny Ken Shamrock type.  Bet your sister's piggy bank on it.

Now this may be for the championship, it is by no means, the headliner of the 'mania.  That my friends, belongs solely to the throw back brawl that will determine who truly is the most bad ass man in the room. We're talking in the first corner,  the Undertaker, The American Bad Ass, The Demon from Death Valley who is 16-0 (G'Damn!) in the biggest glamfest in WWE/F history.  In the other corner, Shawn 'Sweet Chin Music' Michaels, The Heart Break Kid, The Showstopper, Mr. Wrestlemania ready to end the Undertaker's pansy ass streak and return to the ultimate glory of the WWE.

This is really a no brainer pick. Shawn Michaels is going humiliate The Undertaker.  We're talking about a legend of wrestling and former member DX member (great crew).  He's already called out the 'Taker and has his number.  Lets be honest, the lord of death is 45 years old. There's no way he can continue this absurd streak. In fact this could be a retirement match.  I hate to admit it, but we may never get another glance of The American Bad Ass if Michaels piles on the Sweet Chin Music like a sawgrass strummin' banjo.  This wouldn't be a first for The Heart Break kid as he's dominated bastards in the past.  In case you don't remember, here's the epic 2nd half battle between The Main Event & America's hard-on, Ric Flair (Look at this mook, I'm glad he got put into submission) from last years, Wrestlemania XXIV.

So, get your popcorn ready and put on your championship belt. Its game time, baby.

"You're Fucking Out. I'm Fucking In."

Boston Rock Radio Song of the Week: "Song 2" -Blur